If,
were this poem
ever shall be my
deathbed,
Will I ever
Look for thy Love
Among these words
That have consumed
thy life?
If ever be my
Last wish
To see thy
Among the moon
And the stars
Will the thievery clouds part
So that my wish be fufilled.

If, that was thy last wish?

The Taxi

When I go away from you
The world beats dead
Like a slackened drum.
I call out for you against the jutted stars
And shout into the ridges of the wind.
Streets coming fast,
One after the other,
Wedge you away from me,
And the lamps of the city prick my eyes
So that I can no longer see your face.
Why should I leave you,
To wound myself upon the sharp edges of the night?

By Amy Lowell


It’s so wonderful when things turn out exactly the way you want to turn out. Like speaking to a new friend, the first thing you do in the morning; and you haven’t even brushed your teeth. Like sharing your favourite ice cream with the roadside puppy and smiling at the strangers who see this spectacle, a bit amused.

I have been carrying too many shadows from my past that it becomes quite difficult to carry them and move forward. Help was always around the corner they said, but who wants to carry a dead man's burden.

Time and again walking around my house, pictures and memories are some times are blurry. I have reached a point where I am even afraid to walk alone, where I am afraid of people and their perceptions, which I cannot maintain, promises which I cannot keep which will eventually swallow the life that I think I have very little left.

So what do I do? Do I give up...hmmm...?

The faint "thuds" of my heartbeat which has become louder, each passing day tells me that something is near the doors of my life. What is it, I cannot fathom; but I am terribly afraid. I have never been the one to who liked surprises; somehow they always have a bad omen and odour about them that I have grown to hate. I have fine-tuned myself into an abandon facade of hate. Nothing really touches me anymore. Words simply bounce of my ears, all I hear are my own silent confessions which I pray to myself before I go to bed, while I am at work, while I am talking to friends, while I am walking. It’s everywhere, the shadowy whispers of my soul trying to tell me that something that I cannot hear.

I sometimes wonder if this is what we call “living in fear".

These are some poems I wrote when I was VERY lazy and never went out of my house =) . These were first posted in another website and I finally took some time to paste them here....


Ciggis
-------
The blue smoke
Through my mouth
Through my nose
Clouding my eyes
Forever blinding
Forever choking
A glimpse of my spring
My Love passing by



On a full Moon Night
------------------------
A candle light
Dancing to the wind
Shadows on walls
Pictures Of my memory.

Sometimes a smile
Sometimes a tear
On my Cheeks
And these have become
A star in my sky



Tombstones
--------------------
On my courtyard
Three white tombstones
Past Present and Future

Each One bigger Than the other
One each For
Love Solitude and Silence

Love, I pine
Solitude, I enjoy
Silence, i desire



Final Chapter
-------------------
Goodbye my friends
I take leave now
I bow to one'an all

I had a few Laughs
I had a few scolds
But, It always ended in tears

Too much pain again
Too proud to pass it on again
Too afraid to love again
Too stubborn to be helpless again

The night is cold
The moon is bright
The shadow is hidden
The soul is quiet

My doors open tonight
My silence walks in slow
My dreams drift out
My Life, My Fire, My Tear, Smoke